Grave Error

I hate going to the doctor. Does that sound ironic? How about when it is to have tests done in the radiology section of a hospital? In Spain, there is a saying that “at the blacksmith’s home, the family eats with wooden utensils”.

Actually, having a camera stuck down my throat wasn’t that traumatic after all. From the photo, you can tell that I had just come back to this world from full sedation. I didn’t feel a thing, I slept, dreamt (that I was working with Borja), and it was over. I even got my first ever glimpse of my own innards — I will spare you those photos — and everything seemed pretty halal.

On Friday, I went to Toledo — just a short thirty minute train ride from Madrid. I just happened to be wearing one of my Barack Obama t-shirts, and I must say that I haven’t gotten so many stares since I used wear my Rastafarian hat to junior high school back when I was fourteen.

Believe it or not, people were pretty excited when they saw my t-shirt. I think Europeans really like the idea of a true change in U.S. politics and in a new candidate. They were also probably pretty shocked to see a politician on a t-shirt; candidate pins, bumper stickers, and t-shirts simply do not exist over here — which is probably a good thing.

In any event, it was a beautiful sunny day in Toledo, and I made this cheesie video of me, my Barack Obama t-shirt, Toledo, and Duke Ellington with John Coltrane playing “Big Nick”.

The past few days have been perfect spring days here in Madrid, and today was no exception in my neighorhood of Chamberí (sunny and 75ºF). First I set out to to visit the newly opened museum at the Chamberí ghost metro station. In 1966, Metro de Madrid closed the Chamberi station, but it continued to exist in darkness along line one between the Bilbao and Iglesia stations. For the past 40 years the trains have continued to pass through the station without stopping, and you can peak out the window for a glimpse of the ghost station. The station has just been restored to its 1966 aspect and converted into a museum.

After visiting the museum, I took a walk a through my neighborhood and made this low budget video to “Alabama Song” by the Sextet of Orchestra U.S.A. from the obscure album Mack the Knife and Other Berlin Theatre Songs of Kurt Weill. The album’s highlights are Eric Dolphy and John Lewis, and Dolphy’s bass clarinet on “Alabama Song” is perfect for any sunny day. If the video quality is too ghetto for your taste, at least you’ll enjoy the wonderul music.

The Spanish newspaper, El Mundo, published this photo today of Obama enjoying Mediterranean cuisine. “Mediterranean cuisine”? Mediterranean cuisine can be Moroccan, Tunisian, Lebanese, Turkish, Greek, Italian, French, and so on. Not necessarily Spanish. My guess is Barack is surrounded by French and Italian food, but if it makes El Mundo feel more patriotic to call it Mediterranean and have its readers believe it is Spanish, then more power to them.

It’s a shame that Spain does not do a better job of marketing and exporting its food.

Heaven knows that I have done my share of waiting in long, depressing, and dehumanizing lines, and I have to continue to do so in the future. It is the life of an immigrant.

Regardless of what popular opinion tells us, it looks like legal and illegal immigration are good for the economy and social security. That’s what an editorial in today’s New York Times tell us. (more…)

A Scottish friend just sent me an email asking why all of his American friends are so pro-Obama and why he doesn’t know any Republicans. Surely there must be some Republicans, he inquires. After thinking about, I came up with the following explanation:

I know plenty of Republicans, but they’re all in the States. In Europe, Americans won’t admit that they’re Republicans because ever since Bush took office, an American can’t get laid abroad. We have been relegated to pretending we are Canadians to get a “yes”. Now, change is in the air. There is a window of opportunity — it’s what I call the Obama Card. You tell the señoritas that you’re pro-Obama, and you can start believing in change. Yes we can!

As a matter of fact, the entire American ex-pat community’s support for Obama — he did win the Democrats Abroad primary — may be based solely on an eight year dry spell. Yes we can!

The Spanish Presidential Elections are/were today, and it looks like Zapatero and his PSOE Party have won.  In other words, Dumb has just beat Dumber. Normally I would care — I do enjoy elections — but it has simply been an incredibly boring campaign with almost no interesting options or political arguments. Just look at the basic facts: (more…)

Make no mistake of it, Spain’s incumbent president, Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero, probably has the lowest IQ and his cabinet have the lowest combined IQs of any ruling government in Europe. These guys are just dumb, and also naive. They’ve botched almost every foreign policy, economic, and national security decision possible. They have also engaged in activities that have ranged from the utterly incompetent (the AVE bullet train projects) to the offensive (energy company mergers) to the mind-boggling (ETA negotiations). The Ministry of Finance went so far as to blame inflation on the citizens for leaving too big of a tip when ordering coffee (Spaniards never leave more than spare change, by the way), and he told people they should save money by eating rabbit for Christmas dinner. If it weren’t so outright pathetic, it would be laughable.

But never fear, the opposition party, the Partido Popular, led by clueless imbecile Mariano Rajoy and helped by the Spanish Catholic Bishops are making sure that Spain will be ruled for another four years by Zapatero’s PSOE socialist party. Last week, those Catholic Bishops did the democratically responsible thing and actually made a public statement telling Spaniards that as Catholics they were obliged to vote against Zapatero because of his stance on abortion rights and negotiating with terrorists. Last time I checked, Christianity talked about God, not Caesar. It’s more double jeopardy. Bishops should be talking about how we live our lives to stay out of hell, not out of jail.

Then today at lunch while reading the conservative Spanish newspaper El ABC (Marca was already taken), I ran across something incredibly disturbing. Rajoy is proposing legislation to regulate the use of the veil (meaning female Muslims wearing a head garment) in public places and schools. Why? To avoid discrimination against women. Well, this got me going. Spain has the worst income disparity between men and women of any country of Europe. Hey, do you think workplace discrimination in Spain is caused by the 25 Muslim women in the entire country who may wear a cloth on their head?

The ethnocentricism is appalling! (more…)

I just saw a new Facebook group called, “You know you’ve lived in Spain when . . .” that was kind of stupid, but did include some things that I thought were pretty on point. Here are the fairly accurate ones: (more…)

I have a case of too much home entertainment on my hands. One of the problems is that Christmas normally lasts from the day after Thanksgiving until December 25th. After that point, all Christmas music and decorations should be safely put away until the following November. But this is not the case in Spain where the Epiphany is celebrated as a central part of Christmas season.

As a matter of fact, children receive their gifts not from Santa Claus on December 25th, but rather from the three Wise Men (Reyes Magos, ironicially a misnomer since they are not kings nor magicians) on January 6th. This all means that after having said my good byes to Christmas two weeks ago, I returned to Spain to find that everyone was still out shopping and whistling expired caroles. Furthermore, as today is January 6th, everything is closed except for bakeries which sell the traditional and inedible Roscón de Reyes (a dry, uninteresting cake). As a result, I have spent today (and the entire weekend) locked up inside my apartment alternating between various Christmas gifts and my new reading list to entertain myself. (more…)